#11 in our series on starting an Enneagram Group
Take this session immediately after the enquiry, without breaking for tea or coffee.
Rules of engagement
- Integrity: Resist trying to fix and therapize each other
- Safety: Each person only discusses their own enquiry
This segment of the event is about supporting each other to be exactly where they are, not therapizing, fixing or healing each other.
It is not uncommon to feel that we can help someone by utilising our newly developed coaching skills or NLP strategies.
There is nothing wrong with coaching, or NLP interventions, it is just that an Enneagram Inner work practice group, is not the appropriate place for this to take place. Any professional NLP Coach would be aware of this.
If someone requests a private session with another member of the group, in their capacity as a coach, that needs to take place externally to the group. But I would invite a question around people in a group working together in a practice group, who enter into a Therapist-Client relationships as well. It changes the field of consciousness, and can inhibit free expression if people feel they are going to be “fixed, analysed or assessed” by another member of the group.
The second rule requires for everyone to feel safe. Following the enquiry, another persons enquiry is NOT up for discussion. We do not condone people discussing some else’s enquiry. That would be betraying the trust and integrity required for everyone to feel safe to disclose what is going on for them. If during the debrief, someone brings up an aspect of their enquiry, then they have only offered that aspect, not the rest of it.
What is supportive, is to firstly, be very present to yourselves, and express how the enquiry has impacted on you personally.
When someone shares something, and is maybe re-experiencing something that seems difficult to be with—help them by staying present to your own experience, share how this might be impacting on yourself, and help the person by inviting them to stay as much as possible with their own breathing and sensing.
In this work, we not trying to change anything, just develop a capacity to stay with the experience—catch-ourselves-in-the-act, and digest something that requires attention and deeper understanding. This can happen by itself, when we are fully present to it.
Remember, be gentle with yourself and others, bringing a non judgmental compassion to what you discover.